Starting where you are
If you're reading this, you're probably somewhere in the middle of something hard. Maybe you've been trying for longer than feels bearable. Maybe you've just had a conversation with a doctor that left you with more questions than answers. Maybe you're not even sure IVF is the right path — you're just trying to understand what it actually is before you take another step.
Whatever brought you here, you don't need to have it all figured out. This guide will simply explain what IVF involves — what happens, in what order, and what it tends to feel like — so that the next conversation, whether it's with a doctor, a partner, or yourself, feels a little less overwhelming.
What IVF actually is
IVF stands for in vitro fertilisation. In plain terms: the ovaries are stimulated to mature as many eggs as possible, those eggs are collected, fertilised by sperm in a laboratory, and then a resulting embryo is placed back into the uterus — with the hope that it implants and a pregnancy begins.
That's the core of it. The rest of what follows is the detail of how that process works in practice — and what it feels like to go through it.
IVF is used for many different reasons and by many different people. Some are dealing with a specific diagnosis. Others have unexplained infertility — that deeply frustrating situation where nothing appears to be wrong, and yet conception hasn't happened. Others are single, or in same-sex relationships, and are building their families with donor eggs or sperm. There is no single story that leads someone to IVF.
What a cycle involves
A full IVF cycle typically takes 4–6 weeks from the first injection to a pregnancy test. It's broken into stages, each with its own rhythm and its own emotional weight.
-
StimulationAround 10–14 days
Your body naturally produces one egg per month. During IVF, daily hormone injections encourage the ovaries to develop several follicles at once — each containing an egg. Most people learn to do these injections themselves, at home. It feels daunting at first, and then it becomes part of the routine faster than you'd expect. During this time you'll visit the clinic regularly for scans and blood tests to see how your body is responding.
-
The trigger injectionA single, precisely timed injection
When your follicles reach the right size, you'll be given a specific injection at a specific time — usually around 36 hours before egg collection. The timing matters, which can feel like a strange kind of pressure. Your clinic will guide you through exactly when to do it.
-
Egg collectionA short procedure, usually under sedation
Eggs are retrieved in a short procedure — usually 20–30 minutes — while you're sedated. You won't be under general anaesthetic, but you'll be comfortable and won't feel it. Most people go home a few hours afterwards feeling bloated and sore, a bit like a heavy period. The number of eggs collected varies enormously from person to person and cycle to cycle. Try not to attach too much to a number before you know it — it doesn't tell the full story.
-
FertilisationThe following day, and the days after
In the laboratory, your eggs are introduced to sperm — either in a dish (standard IVF), or by a single sperm being injected directly into each egg (a technique called ICSI, often used when sperm quality is a factor). The next morning, your clinic will call to tell you how many have fertilised. This is the first of several updates that can feel like the most important news you've ever received. It helps to know in advance that not all eggs fertilise, and that this is normal — it doesn't mean something went wrong.
-
Embryo development3–6 days in the lab
The fertilised eggs — now embryos — are watched carefully as they grow. Clinics typically aim to grow embryos to day 5 or 6, a stage called a blastocyst, which has a better chance of implanting successfully. You and your clinic will make a call together on the best time to transfer, based on how your embryos are developing. At each stage, some embryos will stop developing. This is hard to hear, but it's a normal part of the process.
-
Embryo transferA brief, usually straightforward procedure
One embryo (sometimes two, depending on your situation and your clinic's guidance) is transferred into the uterus using a thin tube. It doesn't require sedation, and most people describe it as a little like a smear test — mildly uncomfortable, over quickly. For many people, this is one of the most emotionally charged moments of the whole process: the first time the embryo is actually inside you.
-
The two-week wait10–14 days
After transfer, you wait. This is widely acknowledged — by clinicians and patients alike — to be the hardest part. You'll be taking progesterone support, which can produce symptoms that feel like early pregnancy. Your body becomes difficult to read, and every sensation carries enormous weight. There's no way to make this period easy. But knowing that it's hard for almost everyone helps a little.
At every stage, some embryos drop away. Eggs that don't fertilise. Embryos that stop growing. This is one of the most painful parts of IVF to prepare for — because each update can feel like a loss, even before a transfer has happened.
What's important to hold onto is that quality matters more than quantity. A cycle that retrieves four eggs and transfers one strong blastocyst is not a lesser cycle than one that retrieves twelve. The embryologists watching your embryos are extraordinarily skilled at identifying which ones are worth transferring. Trust that process, even when the numbers are smaller than you hoped.
Does IVF work?
Yes — but it's not a guarantee, and the honest answer is that it depends on many things. Age plays the biggest role in success rates when using your own eggs, because egg quality declines over time. Younger patients tend to have higher success rates per cycle. But cumulative rates — across multiple cycles — are considerably more encouraging than any single number suggests.
In the UK, the HFEA (Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority) publishes clinic-level success rates so you can compare clinics on a like-for-like basis. When you're ready to look at those figures, make sure you're reading live birth rate per embryo transferred — not just "pregnancy rate," which counts very early pregnancies that may not continue.
Many people need more than one cycle. This is not a failure — it's part of how IVF works. Each cycle gives your medical team more information about how your body responds and how your embryos develop.
The part no one tells you about
IVF asks a great deal of you — physically, emotionally, and practically. The injections become routine. The appointments stack up. The updates from the lab arrive while you're trying to hold a normal life together. And through most of it, you're probably not telling many people what's happening.
That isolation is one of the most common things people describe. Not because they're alone — but because the details of IVF are so specific, so day-by-day, that it's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been through it. Your partner may be walking beside you through the same experience and still not fully grasp what day you're on, what today's news meant, or what you need from them tonight.
What most people going through IVF say they needed was for someone to understand the detail — without having to explain it every time.
Haven was built because that gap is real. A private place to track your cycle, your medications, your appointments, and your thoughts — and, if you choose, to let one or two people in, on your terms. Not because you have to share, but because sometimes the right kind of company makes all the difference.